Pictures are NOT forthcoming!

Caution – TMI ahead. For the second time this month I went to the Hospital. I don’t think I have been to the hospital more than four times in my whole life, and two were this month. I go to the Doctor’s office all the time but just for scheduled maintenance stuff. I have to get my blood work checked every six months for my cholesterol medicine. However, I have put significant effort in avoiding surgery. Call me what you want but I don’t do needles and blood very well. Kathy says all her patients tell her they hate needles but I’m telling you I HATE needles. So back to the topic at hand – I had a weak moment last month and agreed to a vasectomy. I went through this process once back in Texas but I somehow managed to avoid the actual surgery. In fact, I still have the Valium the Doc prescribed for me prior to the procedure. So I go see this urologist that Kathy knows about. He says the procedure is no more that a pinch, a burn and 10 minutes later I go home less than a whole man - My words not his. No Valium, no drugs, no anesthesia at all – just a local shot to numb the area. I’m a little reluctant as I know I will be anxious and as a reminder, I hate needles and hospitals. The doctor tells me to man-up and don’t worry about drugs. So you can guess where this is going. All my friends who have had this done say it sucks. All of them echo the same story – you will be happy when it is over but the procedure hurts. So I get in the OR and I get the pinch and the burn…. Then I get the hurts like heck. Pinch and burn turned into holy crap batman. I let out a yelp and he says – Sorry. Sorry, are you kidding me. Do you have a hard time getting numb at the dentist he asks me? Why yes I do, is that a problem? Well yes he answers; you should have told me that. What?! Are you kidding me? You have all been to the Doctor. They ask every question imaginable and most of them are irrelevant. Do you think you could include the relevant ones too while you are at it. That was the longest 20 minutes; he lied, in my whole life. On the upside, you get to lay on the couch with a bag of frozen peas stuffed down your pants. When you get your tonsils out you get to eat ice cream. You get a vasectomy and you get to freeze your butt off.

That was Friday and now it is Sunday night. I’m finally talking to Kathy again. Kathy did this to me you know. I’m almost all better now. I have to sit on an airplane for six hours tomorrow and that has me a little worried. I wonder if they will let me take my peas through the security?

This is Kathy Jo talking now. And let me just say this--when John says he hates needles, he really does. When he has to give blood whether it be 10mL or a whole pint, he turns white as a sheet, the blood pressure drops and he needs a soft place to lie down. So, he when he came out of the OR he was WHITE! But he did it! Way to go John! And he got to waited on hand and foot all weekend. That has to be an upside, right? AND let me point this out--he skipped out on not one, but three appointments to have this done. Twice in Texas and once here. And if he had kept his Texas appointment, he would have had some GrOOvY drugs during the procedure. There we go....more than you wanted to know about the Thompson's. Call me if you want to know more!