Stressed out!!

So, I've been a little stressed lately.  That's why no one has heard from me.....except my mom.  I'm afraid not to keep up with my mom.  She can track us down and smoke us out better than any hunter I've ever seen on TV.  We are hiders....that's what we do when stressed.  The toll that this move has taken on the kids has reached epic proportions.  Ethan, who made  a perfect score on the Virginia  Standards of Learning Test after we had only lived in Virginia 3 months, in the top 10 of his grade last year, has experienced failing grades.  He is very conscientious of his grades and this has been tragic for him, but he can't seem to rise above because he has been so stressed out.  John has been really bitter about the move and just gave up for a while.  I'm not sure if I would cal it an "I'll show you attitude" exactly, but close, and it is going to take him a while to recover.  Ethan is really trying to recover, but because he is still so stressed he has become very forgetful.  Emily struggled, at first, but she seems to have it all sorted it out better than any of the rest of us.  She has a great gaggle of friends.  Don't get me wrong, she is still swimming in the deep end of the hormonal pool, but as far as school goes, she's got it all figured out.  She is in drama, got a really cool part in the school play, on the volleyball team....nonstop.  We have taken a hiatus from dance, for now, though.  She still misses her BFF , Lauren, very much.  Having a very hard time without her.  But grades are great.  She is involved.   She is in German I and we are turning into that family that you see in the states that uses the children for interpreters.  I am trying to learn German, but if I can't count for you or tell you what color an object is, I'm in trouble.  I do have a job, for that, I am thankful.  Do I enjoy it?.........no.  It's not really treating people or taking care of them.  Not really helping people learn better how to take care of themselves.  It's doing exams and reporting what I see.....nothing else.  I'm not being stretched.  Not learning or growing in my career.  BUT, that can't last forever.  Before summer, I hope to be volunteering in the ER at the Army hospital.  So, I have had a bit of a bad attitude lately, but I have a for the most part happy family.  We do have great times when we are together, when we travel, and when we are with friends.  Not every day is a tragedy.  John really likes his job and works with some very lovely people.  The man that works at the gate gives me chocolate, so really...what do I have to complain about....come on....free chocolate??  We do love being here and learning about a culture that we have not experienced.  Emily loves the weather, who'd have thunk?  She really digs the grey, cloudy, rainy, foggy days.  When I went to get her from volleyball practice the other day the fog was thick I felt like I could feel it touching me.  She loved it.  You just almost expected Shaggy and Scooby Doo to come around the corner at any moment.  That picture up there is what my insides feel like.  I feel so guilty for causing all this stress for my kids even though I know, in the long run, they will be better prepared for college because of this experience.  I feel like everyone sees "normal Kathy" when they look at my outsides, but I'm hanging by a string on my insides.  BUT, don't anybody order me a fancy white jacket yet.  This will pass.  We have only been here 3 and a half months.  It will get better.  The kids are already doing better.  And there is hope for my career.  I just have to wait it out.  And in the end, I'll be a better, stronger Kathy Jo for it.  Just wait.